confirmance:

do you ever like randomly wake up in the middle of the night check your social networks then go back to sleep 

(via intensional)

    attractive person: hi
    me: is this some kind of sick joke

therealhamster:

touching yourself after a long vacation

image

(via yelled)

verysmalldeer:

nevecampbell:

I just wanna s*** some d***

HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL

(Source: divascreech, via academy)

loltias:

Seeing people the same age as you doing awesome things with their lifeimage

(via i-misspelled-i-love-you)

coffeepeople:

if you are attracted to me you are required by law to tell me. 

(via giggle)

officialunitedstates:

you:  tries to roast me with a lame yo mama joke

me:  looks you up on ancestry.com, finds out that your great grandmother was banished from her lithuianian village because no one liked her, writes a six page allegorical story that roasts your great grandmother, then reads it to your significant other to get them to despise you

(via spankmehardbarry)

hipsparta:

first person to send me an iPhone 6 can be my #blogoftheyear

(via academy)

lifewithoutrory:

"id date a fan" doesnt mean "id date a 12 year old who knows more about me than i do"

(Source: samuel-matthew-halliday, via stability)